I wish I could punch you in the face.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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