her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I need water and some morals
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
