Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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