So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
