You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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