"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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