You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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