3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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