do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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