If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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