U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
