end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
