last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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