Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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