i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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