it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize