is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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