OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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