She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
