it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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