It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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