did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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