Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
