Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
