i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
