That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
