I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
