Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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