Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize