Need sex. Gaining weight.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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