I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
