Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
