I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
