He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
