don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
