i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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