Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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