May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
