I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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