If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
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