How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
