"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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