addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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