ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
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I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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