Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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