his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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