May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
