I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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