Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
