I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
