Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
