you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
