I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We left the knife in your bed.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
