So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
When are your genitals available?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
