last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
