Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
