it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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