We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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