Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
