So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We left the knife in your bed.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
