I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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